THE BAGGER 288
The World's Largest.... Shovel!
The world’s top scientists gathered in Germany last month to rack their brains around the earth’s eminent food crisis. With population growing three times faster than the ability to produce enough food, world leaders decided an answer had to be found soon.
Unfortunately, after three weeks, scientists were still unable to reach a consensus on how to fix the problem; that is until they found the answer from a very unlikely source – a tuna fish sandwich. The idea sparked one Wednesday afternoon, when Professor Edgar VonHalen of Belgium was fixing his lunch.
“I sat there looking at the sandwich and suddenly had the greatest idea any human being has ever had – ever! There must be bigger fish in the sea! Fish that could feed entire cities!” exclaimed VonHalen.
The next day, while presenting his idea to the summit, VonHalen spelled out the obvious equation that “in order to catch the bigger fish, we are going to need bigger worms.” Following his rousing speech and a swift, 14 hours standing ovation, the scientists set out to develop a method of finding these giant worms.
After two more weeks of debate, scientists were, again, unable to reach a concensus. In the end, it was VonHalen who once again came through for humanity, by suggesting the use of a bucket wheel excavator.
“I remembered learning about BWE’s in school, Baggar 288 in particular”, stated the Professor, “If I remember correctly – and I’m sure that I am, since I’m a scientist - it’s capable of digging 240,000 tons a day – roughly the size of a football field that’s 98 ft. deep.”
After another day’s worth of standing ovations, the scientists met with world leaders to discuss the plan and just two days later, Baggar 288 was commissioned to dig for giant worms.
However, once celebration subsided, scientists discovered the earth’s
largest worms are located in Nebraska. This brought about the most
crucial question to date. How do you relocate a 722 ft. long, 315 ft.
high land vehicle from its current location – Germany’s Garzweiler
mines – to the worm-rich hills of Nebraska? “To be honest, we had hoped
VonHalen would figure this one out too,” said an anonymous scientist.
Baggar 288 is currently traveling by land and will continue to do so, until scientists can reach a conscious. With the BWE only able to move 1/3 of a mile each day, it is estimated it should arrive in Nebraska sometime in the year 2039. Needless to say, world leaders are crossing their fingers for an answer.