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COMBINE THAT!

In today’s world where so many people live in cities or suburbia, it’s not a shameful thing to admit that you don’t actually know what a “combine” is. Fortunately, this month’s Earnest Machine of the Month is about to explain not only what a combine is, but also tell you more about the biggest, baddest combine in the world, the Lexion 590R, manufactured by CLAAS of America, Inc.

First, a combine (pronounced COM-bine) is a multi-tasking machine that harvests grain crops like wheat, corn, barley, oats, and so on. The multi-tasking – or combining of actions within one machine – includes reaping (cutting the stalks of the plants/harvesting), binding (tying the stalks together in some manner) and threshing (separating the grain or seed from the stalk).

No one seems to know why it’s pronounced COM-bine, but my guess is that someone was just a wee bit lazy and/or unimaginative, and said, oh, heck, let’s just say it funny instead of trying to come up with a new word.

Anyway, the very first combine was invented by Hiram Moore in 1838, which was followed by the first commercial version, the Sunshine Harvester, in 1885. These machines were often quite large and initially were drawn by mule or horse teams. Later on George Stockton Berry cleverly used straw to heat a boiler providing steam power, putting any number of disgruntled livestock out of work.

In 1913, August Claas established what eventually became Gebr. CLAAS in Westphalia, in Germany. Twenty years later CLAAS marketed the first combine harvester built in and for Europe, and constructed the first self-propelled combine in 1946.

In 1997, a joint venture between CLAAS and Caterpillar brought the Lexion combine to Caterpillar dealers and farmers in North America and began building a new manufacturing facility in Omaha, NE. In 2002 the plant officially became CLAAS Omaha LLC – nestled smack-dab in the heart of America’s amber waves of grain.

Which brings us to CLAAS’s pride and joy – the Lexion 590R.

According to internet resources, the 590R has incredible crop-yielding capacity, regardless of the type of crop. For instance, this machine can harvest 80 bushels of corn every minute, which comes to 4,800 bushels per hour. It can harvest 30 bushels per minute of wheat, or 1,800 bushels per hour. Needless to say, American farmers were gob-smacked by this feat. In one case, neighboring farmers with complementary crops were so excited by the possibilities, they worked side-by-side and in just one week, churned out a year’s supply of Chex Mix for General Mills.

Another gung-ho farmer from Georgia wasn’t quite as successful, however. When he heard that the 590R was the best way to harvest any crop on the planet, he bought one and immediately charged into his peanut fields. Unfortunately, rapidly separating nuts from the plant and shell resulted in a massive quantity of peanut butter, rendering the new machinery inoperable.

Back to better news for those wanting to harvest grains, the Lexion 590R is one of the most efficient and economical machines in action – even with a weight of 43,730 lbs. and a 462hp variable to 516hp engine. The combine also unloads the harvested crop in an impressive manner, using a 26-foot auger – said to be the longest in the world – that can unload 3.3 bushels of grain per second with the largest foldable grain tank in the world, holding 360 bushels.

Claiming to be the biggest this or that in the world may sound like the Lexion 590R is a braggart, but it’s actually a big pussycat that aims to please.

Case in point, not only does it perform near miracles in the fields, but the big galoot also makes sure to take good care of its owner. You can read more about the PAS Pre-Preparation System and the Auto Contour Adjuster and the Multifinger Separation System . . .

But did you hear about cab on this baby?

The 590R has heat and air, a stereo radio, large rotational windscreen wiper, and a tilt telescopic steering wheel. There are also overhead cooling compartments for food and drinks, cigar lighter and ashtray, tinted glass, front and rear horn, carpet, etc. Rumor has that a 590Q, currently being developed under wraps, will have a mini Jacuzzi, satellite TV with DVR, and a built-in George Forman Grill.

So stay tuned for future news from CLAAS. And tell them you heard it here first when they announce the next generation of combines that double as vacation homes—and make a tasty peanut butter to boot.